5/13/19, 8:25 PM
I was set up. The Lord knew I would be attracted to him. He knows me. He knew that I would fall for him. The Lord wanted me to meet Wright Walker. He knew I would go along…and I did.
I fell in love with him and there was no going back. Not that I didn’t agonize over giving him so much money.
But why, is the question.
It was the perfect storm—the intersection of him and me.
There were always unanswered questions. But, after all of my protestations, I just went along. Along for the ride, in a way. On the roller coaster, the emotional roller coaster.
But it was the most intense love for someone I’ve ever in my life experienced. That is how much of an effect his epistolary lovemaking had on me. It was the emails, combined with his interesting way of speaking and being, on the phone—in the beginning. But that’s all it took.
That’s why I say, for me, it was a perfect storm. He charmed me into loving him and I fell right into it. Swept along as the storm continued from event to event—in love. Wanting to love. In love with being in love!
But storm clouds brewed, and lightning flashed when our tempers clashed, as his fantasy scenario became increasingly at odds with reality, my reality anyway. But I kept loving him. Until the day of proof positive. 12/27/18.
By September 1, I (the rational part of my mind and intellect) had enough circumstantial evidence to be fairly sure he was attempting to deceive me. But I still believed he loved me. So, ultimately, I just went along.
That was until I became determined to see this thing through, realizing it’s a game to him; I resolved to play the game to the end, to the conclusion. It cost more money, but by then I was way beyond anything I could pay back anyway, so there went my chips—all in. I gambled and lost. I was putting my money on the man and lost. But, I also “put my money where my mouth is”—on my heart; on that, I won. Because I was true.
Unfortunately, he was a poor investment.
But we can’t forget who brought us here. My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Because of Wright Walker I know the Lord in a new way. An intimate way. Beyond description…
And ironically, though Wright Walker posed as a believer, how can he be?
He, who behaves this badly, how can he be a Christian?
But God wants him!!! That’s another reason I’m in the picture, I believe. I’ve been given a burden for him. I’ve been given the mission of ministering to him. To send him scripture, to encourage him to change his life. To ask God, Jesus, to change his life.
Today, 5/14/19, 7:58 PM, God revealed to me that I met Wright so that I could believe in him, for his sake. So he would know what real love looks like and have someone believe in him. He failed the test, unfortunately. He ran his scenario and stole my money and lied at every turn. But God doesn’t let that limit Him, he sees value in WW/MrX for some unknown (to me) reason. And He wants him back.
You see, I think Wright has a Christian background. My impression was that he has some knowledge of the Bible and a seeming enthusiasm for prayer. It could have been just part of the ruse, but I place more significance on it. He even knew something I didn’t (well, that’s not difficult ) a prayer called “The Grace.” Actually, I had heard it before in church, but I never knew the name of it. I should ask George Mason. I still think there may be a connection there.
(Maybe seminary?)
In his text of May 2nd Wright said “You win..,” I only realized a few days ago what he meant. He was referring to a text I sent him, I think, right after I told him I know the pictures are not his. I said “I win!” That was in December! He still has that in his mind all these months later. I wonder if my saying that made him angry. He didn’t respond to my gloating at the time…
He continues to say he loves me but I no longer believe him. How can I possibly, when every other word out of his mouth is a lie.
Here’s what I wrote a week or so ago:
You don’t trust me
After all the time I trusted you.
If I give you my word,
I will do my best to keep it.
Can’t say that about you.
I am who I say I am.
You have no name,
No face, no place,
No honor, no word.
No wonder our birthdays are exactly 6 months apart. You can’t get more opposite than that.
As I said, God brought us together, for a reason. At least part of it could be that God wanted him to experience real love. And you think, “that’s not real love, you never even met him!”
Wright knew I loved him. I proved it. If you can call loaning him $87,000.00 proof.
But, money aside, he knew I loved him, he knew I was honest, because I demonstrated it.
Or maybe he couldn’t see it, didn’t recognize it because of who he is.
So now he says “You win.”
The truth of it is—I am on a mission for the Lord to win him to Jesus and away from the edge of the black pit of darkness and doom.
Love and trust. I think God wanted him to see what that looks like.
For me, I got (or maybe I’m still getting) to the end of myself—my pride, my lack of self control, my impulsiveness.
Far and above the most important result is my new and very personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
It’s more than that, but I don’t know yet what is going to happen. But this is not over…